Thoughts On Boundaries
You will know when it’s time to set a boundary because, there’s a good chance, your physical body will tell you. Do you get a flood of adrenaline surging through your body? Does it feel like your stomach drops out? Does your face get flushed and warm? Do your hands tingle or sweat?
Resentment—including feelings of anger, frustration, and unease—tends to guide you to where a boundary is needed.
Exhibit the boundaries you wish to see—or see more of—in the world.
State your boundary calmly, concisely, and mindfully.
Learn to say no, not maybe or we’ll see. Being assertive sets an expectation and helps be proactive about issues.
If your boundary is being pushed or tested, don’t wait long to say stop.
Don’t apologize for enforcing a boundary that is good for you.
You may have to deal with discomfort that comes afterwards—allow any guilt to pass through, and remember that you have absolutely no way of knowing how someone else will respond or feel.
Potential feelings of discomfort should never be a reason to withhold a boundary that is important to you.
Boundaries can, and will, change over time.