Someone I’d Like To Be With
In any relationship, it’s easy to put the spotlight on the other person. We’re quick to tell people what we’re looking for in a relationship, and freely able to point out what’s missing or wrong with another person. But rarely do we stop and see if we’re embodying the same things we seek in others.
Of course it’s important to have expectations, to know what you want, and to evaluate others. But it’s also important for us to evaluate ourselves. It’s a way for us to make sure we’re not only committed to being with someone but also being someone we would want to be with. It’s a way for us to make sure we’re showing up with connection and expansion in mind.
One place to start is simply by asking yourself: Am I someone I’d like to be with?
This question isn’t an invitation to start shaming yourself. When you begin to explore the parts of yourself that you might consider problematic or unhealthy, do so with curiosity. The goal is to better understand what function and purpose these parts serve, and then work with them so they no longer cause disconnection.
Am I someone I’d like to be with?
This question also isn’t an invitation to start acting exactly like someone else—you’re a unique individual. You can admire the qualities and aspects of others without forcing those same qualities and aspects to become a part of you if they don’t fit you.
Am I someone I’d like to be with?
I think exploring this question helps us better understand the duality and complexity of human beings. And I think it helps us build a bit more compassion, both for ourselves and for others.