The Four Agreements
Developed and written by spiritual teacher Don Miguel Ruiz, the Four Agreements are four things we can do to better understand our self-limiting beliefs. According to Ruiz, self-limiting beliefs are assumptions and perceptions that hold us back, rob us of joy, and create unnecessary suffering. And only by understanding where these beliefs come from can we truly move forward in life.
1.) Be Impeccable With Your Word
Impeccability can be measured by the amount of self-love you have. How much you love and respect yourself will make itself evident through the quality and integrity of your words. Impeccability is not being divided between what you feel and know on the inside and what you say and do on the outside. Your selves are integrated.
2.) Don’t Take Anything Personally
Hurtful words from another shouldn’t harm you because you recognize that these words stem from the person’s own self-limiting beliefs. Similarly, positive praise from another shouldn’t make you feel good because then you’re allowing someone else to dictate your sense of worthiness. In either case, you don’t place your trust in what others say but rather acknowledge that we are all working through the perspective of our own limited experiences. You can take something seriously without taking it personally.
3.) Don’t Make Assumptions
Assumptions are quick, unconscious thoughts that stem from our self-limiting beliefs. Especially in close relationships, we often assume our partner is going to do or say exactly what we want because they “know us so well.” Making an assumption is a replacement for clear, honest communication and asking questions.
4.) Always Do Your Best
Doing your best means developing an awareness of all the self-limiting, fear-based beliefs that make you unhappy, and then refusing to fuel the thoughts and emotions that come from those fears. Your life is the manifestation of your beliefs, and you can change your life at any point if you no longer enjoy those beliefs. You create what you believe.